Beat Again
by Brit191
Summary: As part of 'I Heart Rogan's random song-fic competition. Based on JLS'd Beat Again. Rogue had had enough of waiting, for now. No smut but some swearing hey, it's logan, what do you expect?


_Hey Hey! This lil' one-shot is my entry to JohnPaulGeorgeandRingo's random song-fic challenge. Obviously it's set to JLS's 'Beat Again', a song I literally despise so it'd pretty ironic it'd the one I got, right? Anyway, R&R, I'd love to know what you think! This is my first song-fic ever, so feedback is appreciated! Much love to the 'I heart Rogan' community! xxx_

**Damn,  
The Doctor's just  
Finished telling me  
There's no time**

**Losing you could be the  
End of me and that I  
Should do the things  
That I wanna do  
How could I?**

This isn't how I imagined it. This isn't how I imagined it when I left Meridian, left Mississippi, left my home. This wasn't my life! All I wanted to do was go to Anchorage – fulfil a childhood dream. Instead I am lying in this godforsaken room surrounded by machines and beeping and too many people hurrying in and out, Dr. McCoy stood by my side, injecting me with god knows what and shouting for more equipment. Everything is swimming in and out of focus, and the only thing I notice in the end is the pain. The mind-numbing pain that fills every crevice of my being.

Oh god, I think desperately, oh god, please. I wasn't meant to be there. In the wrong place at the wrong time. Alone. Why?

**Without you,  
Without you,  
Ooh, ooh**

'Cause your the only  
One I let in  
Tell me how to stop  
This Feeling  
Spreading  
I'm hoping somehow  
That you know  
Ooh Ooh

I loved him. Why did he never realise that? All of those times he caught me looking, all the times he made me blush. I told him everything – I held nothing back. When my relationship with Bobby crumbled because of his dislike of the cure, it was his shoulder I went to cry on. But he never noticed, he never realised.... not until it was too late.

**Let's just get back together,  
We should've never broke up  
They're telling me  
That my heart won't beat again  
We should've stayed together  
'Cause when you left me it stopped  
They're telling me  
That my heart won't beat again  
****  
Won't beat again  
It's killing me  
Hey, hey, hey**

It's ridiculous how something so stupid started the inevitable outcome – well inevitable to me now, obviously. I had been out with Jubilee and we had gotten back after our 'curfew' (which was ridiculous in itself, as we're 19 for goodness sake). But the reason I got mad and we argued wasn't that he had scolded at me like Storm, but that he hadn't. I know that sounds stupid, but it would have shown that he cared, that... well that he gave a fuck really. But no, of course not. Because ever since Alcatraz, Logan hasn't really been Logan, however much I try to pretend otherwise. This was just the last straw.

_I storm past an angry Ororo and a giggling Jubes and run up the stairs two at a time, not even trying to be quiet despite the late hour, giving him one final chance to come out and give a damn. He doesn't, so I barge into his room without knocking.  
_

"_What the hell is wrong with you?" I shout, and he sits up on his bed at my arrival. He's still fully clothed, with a bottle of whiskey lying by his side. I'm angry as hell, because I never usually cuss, and he knows it._

"_What the hell's wrong with _me_?" He slurs incredulously. This is his nightly routine. Hole himself up in his room and hit the hard stuff – it's the only way that he can get past the issue of his healing factor. But it never works for long, and sure enough, as he stands up he doesn't waver at all. _

"_Yes Logan, what the hell is wrong with you!" I gesture at myself and my attire, which is pretty skimpy to say the least "I come back at 3am in the morning dressed like this and you have_ nothing_ to say about it?" Logan shoves his hands in his pockets as he regards me, looking at me properly for the first time in days. A spark of hope erupted in my chest as he frowns, because even disapproval would be welcome at the moment. But instead he just shrugs._

"_You're old enough to do what you want, Rogue" I'm... wait, what? He never calls me that, he never calls me Rogue, not when I've asked him not to. This realisation should hit me harder and cause me to back off before I hear something I don't like, but I'm drunk, I'm not thinking straight, and I could never back off from Logan, not really._

"_Don't you care about me at all?" I'm not shouting any more. This is barely a whisper, but I'm looking straight at him, my eyes probably conveying fear, desperation and childish innocence. But he remains stony faced, the frown still sketched upon his handsome features. _

"_'Course I do kid but-"_

"_But I'm not a kid Logan!" The shouting is back "Can't you see that?" _

"_And what the hell is that meant to mean?" His voice rises in volume, he's getting agitated, unsure of what the hell we are talking about, and, if possible, that just makes angrier. _

"_I LOVE YOU" His eyes widen with shock at that statement "Don't you see that?" I stop and wait for an answer. Logan looks uncomfortable, the frown back in place and a hand raking through his hair._

"_Marie" I almost sigh with relief at the use of my real name, but his voice and posture are tense, too tense for my liking "You really are just a kid, and your drunk and you're upset and you have no idea what you're talking about – you just need to sleep it off, okay?"_

"_But.... but don't you feel anything for me, at all?" I really am pulling at strings here, desperate for some sort of reconciliation. His response shouldn't, at this point, surprise me, but the ferocity of it does._

"_Of course I fucking don't, why the hell would I?" My heart breaks and my cheeks burn red from the humiliation and the tears spilling out of me. Without a word, except a sob, I stumble out of the room and down the corridor towards the stairs. He doesn't follow me. I don't know where to go, but my befuddled head tells me I need to get out of the mansion – I need to be by myself. Logan has been my life for the past few years, and now it seems it was all worthless. So, I stagger to the garage and pick the keys up to Scott's old Mazda, recovered by Bobby after Alkali Lake. I know it's a bad idea to drive in my state, but I honestly couldn't care less right this moment. So as I speed out of the mansion gates, I turn up the music as loud as I can, trying to drown out all my thoughts, but that doesn't stop more tears coming, and I sob uncontrollably as I hit 80 on the freeway into the city._

**If I died,  
Yeah would you come  
To my funeral  
Would you cry?  
Would you feel some regret  
That we didn't try?  
Or would you fall apart  
The same as I, I, I, I**

It was all over so quickly. A jumped red light, a black Mercedes, and a blinding light. Then nothing. Then waking up in the Medical Bay of the Mansion. With people and machines and too much noise. Everyone is there, watching me, praying and I appreciate it, but where is he? Where was he, when I needed him the most?

**Oh,  
And would it always  
Haunt you baby?  
That you missed your chance  
To save me?  
'Cause you know it's not  
Too late  
Hey, hey, hey**

You weren't there. I don't hate you, I could never hate you, I love you too much to ever feel anything other than complete devotion. But you don't love me, so what's the point? You took my heart without realising it, so when you found it you threw it out with the trash. Will you regret it? Will you grieve for me the same way you did for Jean? Probably not – but please, Logan, please remember me, at least. Make my life mean... something.

**Let's just get back together,  
We should've never broke up  
They're telling me  
That my heart won't beat again  
We should've stayed together  
****'Cause when you left me it stopped  
They're telling me  
That my heart won't beat again**

Won't beat again  
It's killing me  
That my heart  
Won't Beat again  
Won't beat again  
It's killing me  
  
**Hey,  
I need you  
Back in my arms  
I need love CPR  
'Cause it's getting  
So cold, ooh  
I need you back again,  
Or else I'll never mend,  
And girl if I go  
I go, I go, I go**

The blackness lifts. Consciousness. I need to stay awake. But the pain, oh my god the pain is too much. My heart, it's dying. I finally realise that this is it. That I'll never grow old, that I'll never reach Anchorage, that I'll never have...

"Marie!"

I turn my head as much as the pain will allow, to see him running into the room, pale and anguished, and my dying heart beats again, just at the sight of him – he came for me. Suddenly he's at my side, a hand on either side of my head, and his face inches from mine.

"God, please Marie, I didn't mean it, I swear to god I didn't mean it I -" But he's interrupted by Hank, who's staring at the monitor, shouting something, I don't know, I can't focus. Logan looks up at the screen, than back at me. I can't stop staring at him. He's here. He's finally here. But it's too late, I can see it in his expression. It's over.

But suddenly his lips crash onto mine, no tenderness, just sheer desperation. I can see why he's doing it, at first. He's hoping my mutation will take what I need, will rob him of life to mend my broken body, but it's futile, and he knows it, but he doesn't break away. Instead he deepens the kiss. And Christ, I have never been kissed like this before. He's pouring himself into me, but in a different way – he's trying to mend my broken heart.

And it almost worked.

As I feel myself slip away, I try to cling on to him, but he tears away, his face wet with tears (his or mine, I'll never know) and says the one phrase I've been waiting for for so damn long.

"I do love you"

**Let's just get back together,  
We should've never broke up  
They're telling me  
That my heart won't beat again  
We should've stayed together  
'Cause when you left me it stopped  
They're telling me  
That my heart won't beat again**

Won't beat again  
It's killing me  
That my heart  
Won't Beat again  
Won't beat again  
It's killing me

This isn't how I imagined it. This isn't how I imagined it when I left Meridian, left Mississippi, left my home. But I found a new home, a new Meridian, and a new and totally unimaginable life. And do you know what? I don't regret a second of it. Not the pain, not the heartache, not the endless waiting. Because I'm patient, always have been, always will be. And that patience paid off... for one, truly mind-blowing minute, it was all worth it.

And now I will wait again, for however many hundreds of years it takes, I will wait, like I always have done, because now I know what the reward is, and when he finally joins me, it'll be for eternity. Just like I imagined.

**Hey, come on  
I'm beggin'  
Please don't let me... go**


End file.
